Venus Square Mars: What You Like and What You Want Compete

With Venus and Mars at cross purposes, you want tenderness and still cannot help trying to come out on top. Love brings plenty of sparks and friction, and real passion gets forged in the process. This page starts from what Venus governs (love, taste, values and money) and what Mars governs (drive, desire, competition and conflict), then looks at how the square makes the two interact, how it tends to show up in everyday life, its strengths and blind spots, and some advice for it.

Venus Square Mars at a glance

Percentages are our own calculation from 8,401 charts of people born in Taipei between 1960 and 2005 with random birth times, using the same orbs as our chart calculator.

The core meaning of Venus Square Mars

Venus wants harmony, to be liked, and for both people to be comfortable. Mars wants to get, to win, and to have things its own way. The square places these two needs in signs that work against each other, so when you want to get close to someone, the way you make your move often clashes with the mood you were hoping for. You may rush and scare the person off. Or you may care so much about their feelings that you hold your desire down, and after a while it bursts out as temper. The liking and the wanting are both real. They just do not show up together easily.

People with this aspect usually have a strong presence in love, with a touch of tension in their appeal. Unlike the conjunction, you clearly feel two forces competing, so you swing between “am I too pushy?” and “am I giving in too much?” In youth this swing easily turns into the same argument on repeat, or an attraction to people who are hard to live with. With more experience you develop a real skill: saying honestly what you want while taking the other person’s feelings into account.

How it feels inside

There is often a restlessness in you that is hard to name. When you like someone, part of you wants to be good to them and part of you is annoyed that they do not respond the way you expected. When you get what you wanted, the satisfaction sometimes does not last, and soon something feels missing again. That discontent keeps your fire going, and it also makes it harder to simply enjoy being loved. Once you can tell “I want to be liked” apart from “I want things my way,” you will feel much calmer inside.

In love and relationships

Love is where this aspect is felt most strongly. You are drawn to people who present a challenge, and a relationship won too easily leaves you flat. Once you are together, friction arises over who gives way and who cares more. The cycle of fighting and making up is more pronounced than for most, and some people even use arguments to confirm the bond. You need a partner who can be straight with you and is not scared of your temper. With boundaries spelled out between you, passion does not need conflict to light it.

At work and in getting things done

At work this tension is excellent fuel. You hold high standards for how a result should look and have the drive to get it there no matter what, so when something is not good enough you cannot help fixing it yourself. You stand out in competitive settings; pitches, sales targets, and contests all bring out your potential. Watch your tone with colleagues. When you are in a hurry to get things right, you speak rather hard, and the other person may feel dismissed. Acknowledge what they did well before giving your opinion, and teamwork goes much more smoothly.

Strengths

• Passion that does not fade: Inner tension keeps you warm toward people and projects. You do not easily turn indifferent and keep investing in the relationships and work you care about.
• Daring to want and to ask: When you are dissatisfied you look for a way to change things. In love or at work you do not settle, and you act more readily than most.
• Attraction with a kick: Your charm has a vivid force that leaves a strong impression, which gives you a real edge wherever you need to put yourself forward.

Blind spots

• Friction in relationships: You want to be cherished and you want to lead. The two needs fight each other, and in close relationships small things turn into contests.
• Holding it in, then exploding: To keep the peace you swallow your dissatisfaction, and when it has built up enough it all comes out at once, leaving the other person bewildered.
• Choosing the difficult ones: You are drawn to people who are unavailable or hard to get along with, mistake tension for destiny, and have less patience for steady relationships.

Advice for Venus Square Mars

Say what you want out loud while it is still small. Your habit is to hold it in until you cannot stand it, and by then the words come out ugly. Practice making requests in an ordinary tone, like “This weekend I’d like it to be just the two of us,” without waiting until you are angry. Hand the leftover fire to your body. Regular exercise, dancing, or hands-on work that takes some muscle will make you a good deal gentler in your relationships.

What to keep in mind when reading this aspect

1. The tighter the orb, the more it matters. In our calculations, only 13.6% of all major aspects are within 1° of exact, and 41.2% are within 3°. If your Venus square Mars is tight, the traits on this page will be more noticeable; if it is close to the 7° limit, they will be much fainter.

2. Applying and separating. An aspect is applying when the two planets are moving toward the exact angle and separating once they have passed it. Tradition holds that an applying aspect is still taking shape and acts more strongly. Our chart calculator marks which one you have.

3. Watch for out-of-sign aspects. Two planets in square are usually in signs of the same modality (both cardinal, both fixed or both mutable), but an aspect is measured by actual distance. In our calculations, 13% of squares do not match the usual sign relationship (one planet late in a sign, the other early in another). The nature of the aspect is still there; it just shows up in a less typical way.

4. Most people born on the same day share this aspect. Venus and Mars move only a little in a day. The difference lies in which houses they fall in on your chart, and that depends on your birth time; see Planets in the Houses.

5. Then look at each planet’s own placement. The signs Venus and Mars are in decide how each one expresses itself; see Planets in the Signs. If either planet has other aspects, read them together. For a complete reading, use the In-Depth Chart Reading.

Other aspects between Venus and Mars

Conjunction · Sextile · Square · Trine · Opposition

The square with other planets

Venus: Moon square Venus, Venus square Jupiter, Venus square Saturn, Venus square Uranus, Venus square Neptune, Venus square Pluto.

Mars: Sun square Mars, Moon square Mars, Mercury square Mars, Mars square Jupiter, Mars square Saturn, Mars square Uranus, Mars square Neptune, Mars square Pluto.

All Venus aspects · All Mars aspects · Planet aspects overview