Venus Opposite Mars: A Tug-of-war Between Chasing and Being Chased

With Venus and Mars facing each other across the zodiac, one end wants to be liked and the other wants to conquer. In partners you keep meeting the side of yourself you have not lived out. This page starts from what Venus governs (love, taste, values and money) and what Mars governs (drive, desire, competition and conflict), then looks at how the opposition makes the two interact, how it tends to show up in everyday life, its strengths and blind spots, and some advice for it.

Venus Opposite Mars at a glance

Percentages are our own calculation from 8,401 charts of people born in Taipei between 1960 and 2005 with random birth times, using the same orbs as our chart calculator.

The core meaning of Venus Opposite Mars

Venus stands for receiving, attracting, and waiting for the other person to come near. Mars stands for initiative, pursuit, and taking what you want your own way. The opposition puts them in opposite signs, like the two ends of a seesaw. It is hard to be the gentle one and the forceful one at once, so you tend to pick one side to play and hand the other to your partner. One person is always the considerate one and keeps meeting domineering partners. Another is used to leading and keeps finding the other person too clingy, too passive.

With the square, the contest is mostly inside you. With the opposition, the tension sits between two people, in plain view. The attraction between you and a partner is usually strong, with a marked sense of completing each other, and it easily becomes a tug-of-war over who chases and who runs, who wants and who does not. The task of this aspect is to claim what is yours: the force that draws you to the other person is in you as well. When you can be both gentle and direct, the relationship no longer needs each of you to play half in order to stay balanced.

How it feels inside

Your feelings about “being liked” and “going after it” seem to take turns. Sometimes you long to be treasured and not have to do a thing. Sometimes being passive feels stifling and you want to decide everything yourself. The switch between the two can surprise even you. You are quite sensitive to how others see your appeal and often read your own worth in their reactions. Slowly you find out that both ways of being belong to you, and neither needs anyone’s approval.

In love and relationships

This aspect is practically made for relationships. You need a counterpart, and without one, life loses some of its zest. When you are dating, the attraction and the rivalry are both obvious. One moves in, the other backs off, and after a while the one who backed off comes chasing. He complains that she is too bossy when he has never once said what he wants: that kind of story is not unfamiliar to you. Turn your complaints about a partner inside out, and you often find something you do not dare to do yourself.

At work and in getting things done

At work you are good at handling what lies between two parties. Negotiating contracts, brokering, or working as an agent or in public relations all require getting the other side to like you while fighting for your own side, and you know that balance from long experience. You are also likely to meet a rival or work partner who gets under your skin; you spur each other on and irritate each other too. Use that person as a mirror. Learn their nerve to ask, or their knack for giving way, and your abilities become more complete.

Strengths

• Strong attraction: Clear sparks fly between you and other people. You are especially charming one on one, and people want to know you better.
• Understanding both positions: You know how the pursuer thinks and how the pursued thinks, which gives you an extra layer of insight in love and in negotiation.
• Growing through relationships: Partners and rivals often reflect the side of you that is undeveloped. If you are willing to learn, every relationship makes you more whole.

Blind spots

• Chase and retreat: The two of you take turns approaching and pulling away. It makes for great drama but little stability, and both people tend to get tired.
• Playing only one side: You play only the gentle one or the forceful one and expect your partner to cover the other. When they fall short or overdo it, you feel wronged or pushed around.
• Letting others define your appeal: You care too much about whether people are drawn to you. With no response you doubt yourself, and your mood rises and falls with their attitude.

Advice for Venus Opposite Mars

Find the side you habitually play in relationships, then deliberately practice the other. If you always go along, next time say first where you want to go and how you want to spend the day. If you always lead, let your partner plan something and accept it without changes. It will feel awkward at first. After a few rounds the tug-of-war between you loosens, and the attraction stays.

What to keep in mind when reading this aspect

1. The tighter the orb, the more it matters. In our calculations, only 13.6% of all major aspects are within 1° of exact, and 41.2% are within 3°. If your Venus opposite Mars is tight, the traits on this page will be more noticeable; if it is close to the 8° limit, they will be much fainter.

2. Applying and separating. An aspect is applying when the two planets are moving toward the exact angle and separating once they have passed it. Tradition holds that an applying aspect is still taking shape and acts more strongly. Our chart calculator marks which one you have.

3. Watch for out-of-sign aspects. Two planets in opposition are usually in signs directly across from each other, but an aspect is measured by actual distance. In our calculations, 12.9% of oppositions do not match the usual sign relationship (one planet late in a sign, the other early in another). The nature of the aspect is still there; it just shows up in a less typical way.

4. Most people born on the same day share this aspect. Venus and Mars move only a little in a day. The difference lies in which houses they fall in on your chart, and that depends on your birth time; see Planets in the Houses.

5. Then look at each planet’s own placement. The signs Venus and Mars are in decide how each one expresses itself; see Planets in the Signs. If either planet has other aspects, read them together. For a complete reading, use the In-Depth Chart Reading.

Other aspects between Venus and Mars

Conjunction · Sextile · Square · Trine · Opposition

The opposition with other planets

Venus: Moon opposite Venus, Venus opposite Jupiter, Venus opposite Saturn, Venus opposite Uranus, Venus opposite Neptune, Venus opposite Pluto.

Mars: Sun opposite Mars, Moon opposite Mars, Mercury opposite Mars, Mars opposite Jupiter, Mars opposite Saturn, Mars opposite Uranus, Mars opposite Neptune, Mars opposite Pluto.

All Venus aspects · All Mars aspects · Planet aspects overview