Yue Lao Oracle Lot 61 · Good

不知其人，視其友。 If you do not know the person, look at their friends.

The lot

Text notes (in Chinese): 《荀子》原作「不知其子視其友」.

Background: what the original says

Xunzi cites an old saying: if you do not understand someone, look at the friends they keep and you will know.

"Know a man by his friends" turns up in several early Chinese texts. At the close of the chapter "Human Nature Is Bad" in the Xunzi, the Confucian thinker Xunzi argues that character is shaped by the company one keeps: good teachers and upright friends improve you without your noticing. He then quotes an old saying: if you do not know a son, look at his friends; if you do not know a ruler, look at those around him.

The Kongzi Jiayu (School Sayings of Confucius) has Confucius predicting that after his death his disciple Zixia would keep growing while Zigong would slip, because Zixia sought out people better than himself and Zigong preferred those who were not. Sima Qian, in the Records of the Grand Historian, closes one of his biographies with the same proverb. Choosing a partner means getting to know a whole person, which is how this old rule of thumb found its way into the Old Man under the Moon's oracle.

What it means

If you want to understand the other person, take a look at their circle of friends.

Reminder: Get to know the other person's friends.

This is a plain reading of the words and their source. How it applies to your own question is best settled with the interpreter at the temple where you drew it.

How to ask Yue Lao for a lot

1. Yue Lao, the Old Man under the Moon, usually has a side shrine inside a larger temple, such as a City God temple or a Mazu temple. Follow the temple's route: pay respects to the main deity first, then go to Yue Lao.
2. Tell Yue Lao your name, birth date and address, describe where you are in love right now, and state the one question you want to ask (for example, "Will this relationship last?" or "When will I meet someone?").
3. Cast the moon blocks (jiaobei, two crescent-shaped wooden blocks) to ask whether you may draw. One face up and one face down means yes; then pull one stick and cast again to confirm it. Many temples ask for three yeses in a row; if not, draw again.
4. Collect the slip with the matching number. Yue Lao lots are quotations from old books, so the meaning often depends on the original passage. If it is unclear, ask the temple's interpreter.

Ask about one thing at a time; the more specific the question, the easier the lot is to apply. Yue Lao lots are for love and marriage only; for other matters, use the temple's general fortune poems.

Common misunderstandings

Previous: Lot 60; next: Lot 62.