Yue Lao Oracle Lot 5 · Good

逾東家牆而摟其處子，則得妻；不摟，則不得妻。 Climb over the east neighbor's wall and seize his daughter, and you get a wife; hold back, and you get none.

The lot

Background: what the original says

Mencius uses this example as a pointed question: if the only way to get a wife were to climb the neighbor's wall and seize his daughter by force, would you do it? His point is that no goal justifies abandoning what is right.

This passage comes from the Mencius. A man from the small state of Ren challenged Mencius's disciple Wulu Zi: which matters more, ritual or food? Ritual, said Wulu Zi. Ritual or getting a wife? Ritual again. Then, the man pressed, if eating by the rules meant starving, would you still keep them? If fetching your bride in person as ritual requires meant losing her, would you still insist? Wulu Zi had no answer and went to Mencius the next day. Mencius said the question was rigged, like weighing a sliver of gold against a cartload of feathers. Go back and ask him, he said: if you could only eat by twisting your elder brother's arm and taking his food, would you twist it? If you could only get a wife by climbing your eastern neighbour's wall and dragging off his daughter, would you do it? The lot quotes only the first half of that question and drops the final would you do it, which reverses its meaning.

What it means

The popular reading says to take the initiative and not let a chance slip away. But what Mencius actually meant is that even a marriage must not be pursued by improper means. Being proactive is fine; the way you go about it must be honorable.

Reminder: Speak up bravely about how you feel, while fully respecting the other person's wishes.

This is a plain reading of the words and their source. How it applies to your own question is best settled with the interpreter at the temple where you drew it.

How to ask Yue Lao for a lot

1. Yue Lao, the Old Man under the Moon, usually has a side shrine inside a larger temple, such as a City God temple or a Mazu temple. Follow the temple's route: pay respects to the main deity first, then go to Yue Lao.
2. Tell Yue Lao your name, birth date and address, describe where you are in love right now, and state the one question you want to ask (for example, "Will this relationship last?" or "When will I meet someone?").
3. Cast the moon blocks (jiaobei, two crescent-shaped wooden blocks) to ask whether you may draw. One face up and one face down means yes; then pull one stick and cast again to confirm it. Many temples ask for three yeses in a row; if not, draw again.
4. Collect the slip with the matching number. Yue Lao lots are quotations from old books, so the meaning often depends on the original passage. If it is unclear, ask the temple's interpreter.

Ask about one thing at a time; the more specific the question, the easier the lot is to apply. Yue Lao lots are for love and marriage only; for other matters, use the temple's general fortune poems.

Common misunderstandings

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