Yue Lao Oracle Lot 38 · Very good

妻也者，親之主也。 As for a wife: she is the heart of the household.

The lot

Text notes (in Chinese): 流通本作「妻焉者」，依《禮記》改「妻也者」.

Background: what the original says

Confucius told Duke Ai of Lu that a wife presides over the family's ancestral rites and household, and so she deserves respect.

This line comes from the chapter "Duke Ai Asks" in the Book of Rites (Liji). Duke Ai of Lu asks Confucius about government. Confucius says that government begins with caring for people, caring for people begins with ritual, ritual begins with respect, and the highest expression of respect is the ruler's wedding, when he puts on his ceremonial cap and goes in person to receive his bride.

The duke thinks this excessive. Confucius replies that a marriage unites two families, continues the line of the ancestors, and makes the couple joint hosts of the sacrifices to heaven and earth; how can that be excessive? The wise kings of old, he adds, honored their wives and children. A wife presides over the family's rites for its elders; how could she not be honored? A son carries on the family line; how could he not be honored? Confucius places respect between husband and wife at the root of good government, and the lot passes that reminder on.

What it means

This match can lead to a home together, and the other person will be a good partner in running it. It is also a reminder to treat your partner with respect.

Reminder: Respect your partner, and your home will be at peace.

This is a plain reading of the words and their source. How it applies to your own question is best settled with the interpreter at the temple where you drew it.

How to ask Yue Lao for a lot

1. Yue Lao, the Old Man under the Moon, usually has a side shrine inside a larger temple, such as a City God temple or a Mazu temple. Follow the temple's route: pay respects to the main deity first, then go to Yue Lao.
2. Tell Yue Lao your name, birth date and address, describe where you are in love right now, and state the one question you want to ask (for example, "Will this relationship last?" or "When will I meet someone?").
3. Cast the moon blocks (jiaobei, two crescent-shaped wooden blocks) to ask whether you may draw. One face up and one face down means yes; then pull one stick and cast again to confirm it. Many temples ask for three yeses in a row; if not, draw again.
4. Collect the slip with the matching number. Yue Lao lots are quotations from old books, so the meaning often depends on the original passage. If it is unclear, ask the temple's interpreter.

Ask about one thing at a time; the more specific the question, the easier the lot is to apply. Yue Lao lots are for love and marriage only; for other matters, use the temple's general fortune poems.

Common misunderstandings

Previous: Lot 37; next: Lot 39.