Yue Lao Oracle Lot 49 · Good, steady

故好而知其惡，惡而知其美者。 To love someone yet know their faults, to dislike someone yet see their good.

The lot

Background: what the original says

The Great Learning says that people who can see the flaws of those they love, and the virtues of those they dislike, are rare in this world.

The Great Learning (Daxue) was originally a chapter of the Book of Rites; in the Song dynasty Zhu Xi placed it first among the Four Books. This line comes from its section linking self-cultivation to the family.

That section observes that people are partial toward those they love, despise, revere, pity or look down on. So those who can see the faults of someone they like, and the merits of someone they dislike, are rare in the world. It then quotes a proverb: no one knows the faults of his own son, or how well his own crops are growing. Zhu Xi explained that the first blindness comes from doting love and the second from greed. The conclusion is that one who has not cultivated himself cannot order his family. The passage was about favoritism within a household; the oracle moves it to a couple, since partiality toward a loved one is the first bias the text names.

What it means

Look at a person as a whole; if you can still see the flaws while you are in love, you will not be blinded by your feelings.

Reminder: Write down the other person's strengths and weaknesses, and think it over calmly.

This is a plain reading of the words and their source. How it applies to your own question is best settled with the interpreter at the temple where you drew it.

How to ask Yue Lao for a lot

1. Yue Lao, the Old Man under the Moon, usually has a side shrine inside a larger temple, such as a City God temple or a Mazu temple. Follow the temple's route: pay respects to the main deity first, then go to Yue Lao.
2. Tell Yue Lao your name, birth date and address, describe where you are in love right now, and state the one question you want to ask (for example, "Will this relationship last?" or "When will I meet someone?").
3. Cast the moon blocks (jiaobei, two crescent-shaped wooden blocks) to ask whether you may draw. One face up and one face down means yes; then pull one stick and cast again to confirm it. Many temples ask for three yeses in a row; if not, draw again.
4. Collect the slip with the matching number. Yue Lao lots are quotations from old books, so the meaning often depends on the original passage. If it is unclear, ask the temple's interpreter.

Ask about one thing at a time; the more specific the question, the easier the lot is to apply. Yue Lao lots are for love and marriage only; for other matters, use the temple's general fortune poems.

Common misunderstandings

Previous: Lot 48; next: Lot 50.