Who Will You Attract — and Who Are You Drawn To? What Your BaZi Says
Love runs in two directions: who you draw in, and who you fall for; and they're often not the same. BaZi reads them in two places: the type you're drawn to comes from your Spouse Star's element, and who you attract comes from your source of magnetism. This page takes them one at a time, and at the end looks at a common gap: the type that makes your heart race isn't necessarily the element that works in your favor.
Who Are You Drawn To? Read the Spouse Star's Element
A man's wife-star is Wealth; a woman's husband-star is the Officer. Whichever element your Spouse Star is maps to the type you fall for.
| Spouse Star element | The type you fall for | Keywords |
|---|---|---|
| Wood | Gentle, growth-minded, idealistic: someone you can grow with and talk futures with | growing · thoughtful |
| Fire | Warm, outgoing, driven: someone who lights up the room and the day | warm · lively |
| Earth | Steady, practical, home-loving: someone who gives solid security | grounded · reliable |
| Metal | Decisive, principled, capable: someone sharp who can carry the room | decisive · capable |
| Water | Clever, adaptable, communicative: someone charming and easy to talk to | clever · magnetic |
Cast a chart to find whether your Wealth (men) or Officer (women) is Wood, Fire, Earth, Metal, or Water. That's your type. Many people have more than one, meaning you're drawn to several types, even very different exes; perfectly normal.
See Which Element Your Spouse Star Is Free BaZi Chart →
Who Do You Attract? Read Your Source of Magnetism
Attraction comes from a few sources, usually stacked. See which one you are.
Wide-net charm
- Strong Peach Blossom: a wide field, many admirers, naturally well-liked
- Strong Output (especially women): draws people who admire your talent
Steady pull
- Clear Wealth / Officer: draws those who want something serious
- Strong Day Master: draws people who want to be led by you
- Weak Day Master: draws those who want to look after you
The Type You Fall For and the Type That Fits Are Often Not the Same
This is the BaZi reason love feels exhausting for so many people.
The type you fall for is your Spouse Star's element; but if that star is an unfavorable element in your chart, the type you throw yourself at actually drains you: the more you give, the emptier you get. That's why some people "know it's wrong and love anyway," and why "the one you want" and "the one who fits" are so often two different people.
The fix isn't to suppress the spark; it's one extra layer of awareness: does this person who makes your heart race point toward your favorable elements, or your unfavorable ones? Separate the spark from the fit, and the next time you meet the same type, you're more likely to notice early. To find which elements are favorable for you, start with strong or weak Day Master.
Who You Fall For and Who Falls for You, by Day Master: Ten Stems × Strong or Weak × Man or Woman
The five elements are only a rough cut. Break the spouse star down to its heavenly stem and add strength, and the result gets much more specific.
The five-element table above is a rough cut. Each element also splits into yin and yang: both are Earth, but Wu Earth leans generous and substantial while Ji Earth leans attentive and home-loving; both are Metal, but Geng Metal is decisive and direct while Xin Metal cares about taste. Which stem your spouse star falls on is more precise than the element alone.
Strength also changes the direction of attraction. A strong Day Master is usually drawn to people who let them shine or can stand up to them; a weak Day Master is usually drawn to people who share the load and make them feel safe, but also easily falls for types they can't carry. Below are ten groups by day stem, describing who you're likely to be drawn to and who you're likely to attract; for judging strength see strong or weak Day Master.
Jump to your Day Master:Jia 甲Yi 乙Bing 丙Ding 丁Wu 戊Ji 己Geng 庚Xin 辛Ren 壬Gui 癸
Jia Wood Day MasterYang stem
Man's spouse star: Direct Wealth Ji Earth (己), combines with Jia; Indirect Wealth Wu Earth (戊) | Woman's spouse star: Direct Officer Xin Metal (辛); Seven Killings Geng Metal (庚)
- Man, strong Day Master
- Most easily drawn to the Ji Earth Direct Wealth type: attentive, home-loving people who know how to take care of daily life, letting you focus on your career. The Wu Earth Indirect Wealth type (generous, loves a lively scene) also appeals, but is usually someone to date rather than someone to build a home with. The people drawn to you mostly appreciate that you're reliable and want to be looked after by you.
- Man, weak Day Master
- Facing Earth Wealth, you're often drawn to people who are better placed and more mature than you; your heart races but you feel the pressure. The ones you're truly at ease with are often people who will work hard alongside you without rushing for results. The people drawn to you mostly find you gentle and idealistic, and are willing to grow with you.
- Woman, strong Day Master
- You admire the Xin Metal Direct Officer type: particular, tasteful, measured in word and deed, someone who can trim your excess branches. The Geng Metal Seven Killings type (decisive, forceful) also stirs you, but with both of you strong, neither gives way easily. The people drawn to you are those who admire your independence.
- Woman, weak Day Master
- You're easily drawn to the forceful Geng Metal type, because they look able to handle things; what truly suits you is someone who gives you both space and support. The people drawn to you mostly want to protect and look after you.
Yi Wood Day MasterYin stem
Man's spouse star: Direct Wealth Wu Earth (戊); Indirect Wealth Ji Earth (己) | Woman's spouse star: Direct Officer Geng Metal (庚), combines with Yi; Seven Killings Xin Metal (辛)
- Man, strong Day Master
- You like the Wu Earth Direct Wealth type: steady, substantial, someone who makes you feel you have something to lean on. The Ji Earth Indirect Wealth type is gentle and attentive and a great fit while dating, but things can slide into habit. The people drawn to you like that you're easy to be with and good at setting the mood.
- Man, weak Day Master
- You're often drawn to forceful people who are very capable at life, because you need someone who can hold daily life together; but when Earth is heavy, you feel you're always the one chasing. The people drawn to you find you gentle and want to look after you.
- Woman, strong Day Master
- Most easily drawn to the Geng Metal Direct Officer: decisive, loyal, gets things done, exactly filling in where you hesitate; with the Yi-Geng combination it often feels like you've known each other forever. The Xin Metal Seven Killings type (strict, picky) tends to leave you both in love and exhausted.
- Woman, weak Day Master
- Most easily drawn to people who look able to protect you, but when Geng and Xin Metal are too heavy, protection turns into restriction. What suits you is someone who takes responsibility without asking you to change. The people drawn to you mostly like that you're soft and understanding.
Bing Fire Day MasterYang stem
Man's spouse star: Direct Wealth Xin Metal (辛), combines with Bing; Indirect Wealth Geng Metal (庚) | Woman's spouse star: Direct Officer Gui Water (癸); Seven Killings Ren Water (壬)
- Man, strong Day Master
- You like the Xin Metal Direct Wealth type: polished, tasteful, with a touch of distance; with the Bing-Xin combination, you're often hooked at first sight. The Geng Metal Indirect Wealth type is breezy and generous and fun to be around, but not necessarily a long-term partner. The people drawn to you like your warmth and generosity.
- Man, weak Day Master
- You're often drawn to people who are well placed and striking on the outside, but around them you feel you always have to perform. The people drawn to you like that you're sincere and big-hearted, and they actually suit you better.
- Woman, strong Day Master
- You admire the Ren Water Seven Killings type: broad-minded, worldly, able to match your heat; the Gui Water Direct Officer type is gentle and attentive and comfortable to be with, but you sometimes feel the spark isn't there. The people drawn to you mostly like that you're cheerful and take the initiative.
- Woman, weak Day Master
- You're easily drawn to calm, quiet people, whose steadiness reassures you; but when Water is heavy, you feel your warmth keeps getting doused. What suits you is someone willing to respond and able to express themselves.
Ding Fire Day MasterYin stem
Man's spouse star: Direct Wealth Geng Metal (庚); Indirect Wealth Xin Metal (辛) | Woman's spouse star: Direct Officer Ren Water (壬), combines with Ding; Seven Killings Gui Water (癸)
- Man, strong Day Master
- You like the Geng Metal Direct Wealth type: frank, independent, efficient, and your attentiveness warms them. The Xin Metal Indirect Wealth type is polished and tasteful and fun to date, but when you're both sensitive you tend to second-guess each other.
- Man, weak Day Master
- You're often drawn to independent, capable people, yet worry you can't give them what they want. The people drawn to you appreciate your gentleness and your ability to listen.
- Woman, strong Day Master
- Most easily drawn to the Ren Water Direct Officer: open-minded, accepting, worldly; with the Ding-Ren combination, you often feel understood. The Gui Water Seven Killings type is sensitive and intricate with a strong pull, but you tend to tug at each other's emotions.
- Woman, weak Day Master
- You're easily drawn to deep, hard-to-read people; the more mysterious they are, the closer you want to get. What suits you is someone emotionally steady who gives you clear answers. The people drawn to you mostly appreciate how considerate you are.
Wu Earth Day MasterYang stem
Man's spouse star: Direct Wealth Gui Water (癸), combines with Wu; Indirect Wealth Ren Water (壬) | Woman's spouse star: Direct Officer Yi Wood (乙); Seven Killings Jia Wood (甲)
- Man, strong Day Master
- You like the Gui Water Direct Wealth type: attentive, sensitive, imaginative; with the Wu-Gui combination, you're often moved by their tenderness. The Ren Water Indirect Wealth type is clever and lively and brings novelty, but is hard to keep.
- Man, weak Day Master
- You're often drawn to clever, quick-witted, adaptable people, yet can't keep up with their pace. The people drawn to you value that you're reliable and keep your word.
- Woman, strong Day Master
- You admire the Jia Wood Seven Killings type: ambitious, bold, able to get you moving; the Yi Wood Direct Officer type is gentle and refined and pleasant to be with, but you may find them too polite.
- Woman, weak Day Master
- You're easily drawn to people with firm views, whose decisiveness reassures you; but when Wood is heavy, you feel you're always the one accommodating. The people drawn to you like that you're steady and accepting.
Ji Earth Day MasterYin stem
Man's spouse star: Direct Wealth Ren Water (壬); Indirect Wealth Gui Water (癸) | Woman's spouse star: Direct Officer Jia Wood (甲), combines with Ji; Seven Killings Yi Wood (乙)
- Man, strong Day Master
- You like the Ren Water Direct Wealth type: clever, open-minded, worldly, someone who shows you a world beyond your familiar circle. The Gui Water Indirect Wealth type is attentive and romantic and easy to fall for, but takes more patience to be with.
- Man, weak Day Master
- You're easily drawn to clever people who are hard to pin down, and often feel you're the one chasing. The people drawn to you mostly value that you're down-to-earth and devoted to home.
- Woman, strong Day Master
- Most easily drawn to the Jia Wood Direct Officer: upright, with firm views, someone you can rely on; with the Jia-Ji combination, there's often a feeling of "this is the one." The Yi Wood Seven Killings type is lively and changeable with a strong pull, but takes more effort.
- Woman, weak Day Master
- You're easily drawn to clingy people who need you, because being needed makes you feel secure; what suits you is someone who can also look after you.
Geng Metal Day MasterYang stem
Man's spouse star: Direct Wealth Yi Wood (乙), combines with Geng; Indirect Wealth Jia Wood (甲) | Woman's spouse star: Direct Officer Ding Fire (丁); Seven Killings Bing Fire (丙)
- Man, strong Day Master
- You like the Yi Wood Direct Wealth type: gentle, understanding, able to soften your edges; with the Yi-Geng combination, this is often the type you find hardest to resist. The Jia Wood Indirect Wealth type is generous with firm views and fun to be with, but when you're both hard-headed you bicker often.
- Man, weak Day Master
- You're often drawn to people who are gentle yet have firm views, yet worry you can't give them a stable life. The people drawn to you appreciate your loyalty and plain speaking.
- Woman, strong Day Master
- You admire the Ding Fire Direct Officer type: warm, attentive, measured, able to turn your sharpness into capability. The Bing Fire Seven Killings type is passionate and outgoing and draws you in, but when you're both strong there's a lot of conflict.
- Woman, weak Day Master
- You're easily drawn to passionate, forceful people; their firepower stirs you, but too much Fire is more than you can take. What suits you is someone gentle and steady.
Xin Metal Day MasterYin stem
Man's spouse star: Direct Wealth Jia Wood (甲); Indirect Wealth Yi Wood (乙) | Woman's spouse star: Direct Officer Bing Fire (丙), combines with Xin; Seven Killings Ding Fire (丁)
- Man, strong Day Master
- You like the Jia Wood Direct Wealth type: upright, driven, responsible. The Yi Wood Indirect Wealth type is gentle and affectionate and very sweet while dating, but you'll care whether they have enough taste.
- Man, weak Day Master
- You're often drawn to people who are striking and socially skilled, but around them you easily feel outshone. The people drawn to you appreciate that you're attentive and tasteful.
- Woman, strong Day Master
- Most easily drawn to the Bing Fire Direct Officer: cheerful, generous, open and aboveboard; with the Bing-Xin combination, it's often love at first sight. The Ding Fire Seven Killings type is passionate but impatient and can easily hurt you.
- Woman, weak Day Master
- You're easily won over by people who pursue you passionately, but when Ding Fire is too strong you get worn down; what suits you is someone gentle who respects your pace.
Ren Water Day MasterYang stem
Man's spouse star: Direct Wealth Ding Fire (丁), combines with Ren; Indirect Wealth Bing Fire (丙) | Woman's spouse star: Direct Officer Ji Earth (己); Seven Killings Wu Earth (戊)
- Man, strong Day Master
- You like the Ding Fire Direct Wealth type: gentle, attentive, someone who makes you willing to slow down; with the Ding-Ren combination, this is often the type that gets you to settle. The Bing Fire Indirect Wealth type is warm and generous, and romance with them is lively, but it's hard to settle down.
- Man, weak Day Master
- You're often drawn to warm, party-loving people, yet feel you can't keep up with their pace of life. The people drawn to you appreciate that you're clever and worldly.
- Woman, strong Day Master
- You admire the Wu Earth Seven Killings type: steady, substantial, able to give you a framework; the Ji Earth Direct Officer type is gentle and home-loving and calm to be with, but you may feel they can't keep you in check.
- Woman, weak Day Master
- You're easily drawn to people with lots of rules who seem reliable, but over time you feel boxed in; what suits you is someone reliable who doesn't restrict you.
Gui Water Day MasterYin stem
Man's spouse star: Direct Wealth Bing Fire (丙); Indirect Wealth Ding Fire (丁) | Woman's spouse star: Direct Officer Wu Earth (戊), combines with Gui; Seven Killings Ji Earth (己)
- Man, strong Day Master
- You like the Bing Fire Direct Wealth type: cheerful, generous, someone who lights you up. The Ding Fire Indirect Wealth type is romantic and emotionally rich and very appealing while dating, but being together has big ups and downs.
- Man, weak Day Master
- You're often drawn to warm, outgoing people, yet worry about being outshone. The people drawn to you appreciate that you're careful and considerate.
- Woman, strong Day Master
- Most easily drawn to the Wu Earth Direct Officer: steady, reliable, responsible; with the Wu-Gui combination, you often feel you've found someone to lean on. The Ji Earth Seven Killings type is practical but manages a lot; there's a pull, but being together is more tiring.
- Woman, weak Day Master
- You're easily drawn to forceful, reliable people, but when Earth is too heavy you feel held down; what suits you is someone steady who is willing to listen to you.
Limits of this page
BaZi gives tendencies: which traits you're easily drawn to and who you're likely to attract. The people you actually meet are far more complex than any element category. The spouse star should be read from both the heavenly stems and the stems hidden in the branches, and Luck Pillars also change your preferences, so it's normal for the same person to be drawn to different types at different ages. This site is for reference and entertainment only.
Love & Peach Blossom series
See Which Element Your Spouse Star Is
Whether your Wealth (men) or Officer (women) is Wood, Fire, Earth, Metal, or Water, and whether it's favorable: one chart shows it. Meet someone? Run a compatibility chart to see how you two fit.
Who You Attract: FAQ
The type I actually like is different from what this page says. Did I cast the chart wrong?
Not necessarily. First confirm your birth hour, since the hour pillar affects strength and hidden stems; then look at your Luck Pillars, because when you enter a Luck Pillar of a certain Ten God, your preferences shift with it. For example, people in a Hurting Officer Luck Pillar are easily drawn to talented people who don't play by the rules. Wealth and Officer hidden in the earthly branches also have an effect; it's not just the heavenly stems.
Does the type I like change as I get older?
Often, yes. The Luck Pillar changes every ten years; people entering a Resource Luck Pillar start to value being understood and supported, while people entering a Wealth Luck Pillar care more about the other person's practical abilities. Being drawn to one type when young and ending up with another in middle age is very common in BaZi terms.
If the other person's day stem is exactly my spouse star, are we especially compatible?
There's attraction, but compatibility isn't guaranteed. For example, when a Jia man meets a woman born on a Ji day, her day stem is exactly Jia's Direct Wealth, and Jia and Ji combine, so the two easily take to each other; but getting along also depends on whether their day branches clash and whether her element is favorable for you. For a full comparison use BaZi compatibility.
What's the difference if the spouse star appears in the month pillar or the hour pillar?
A common reading: with the spouse star in the month pillar, the partner usually comes from work, school, or a family-introduced circle, and you meet earlier; in the hour pillar, the connection arrives later, or the bond grows closer the longer you're married. This is a tendency by position; you still have to check whether that star is rooted and whether it's favorable.